Man, did I ever miss this blank space on my little corner of the internet. So many things have been going on, but I haven't been able to sit down and put it all in words.
It's a little ironic that in my last post, I mentioned that blogging more was a goal of mine this year. That post was written on my birthday, (March 3) and I have been totally MIA since. Really Chanity? *eye roll*
Soooo, to catch up..
My baby girl turned 3 years old on 3/12! Where did the time go?!
Mama got a new car. My Altima finally bit the dust after 10 years, right after we paid off Houston's truck. The timing was crazy, but I'm thankful it worked out that way.
We took a week-long trip to North Carolina to visit our families. It was much-needed and we really had a good time.
My ride-or-die got her hubby back! (And Ella got her buddy back!) After a long 6 months of deployment, our good friends were a complete family again. You wouldn't believe everything she went through in that period of time even if I told you, it was crazy. I'm glad her other half is home now. There's nothing better than a homecoming.♥
We have been on an emotional roller coaster since our trip back to NC. One of our grandparents isn't doing too well at all, so we have that in the back of our minds along with figuring out the best way to explain death to our children when the time comes. While we hope for many more years with this person, we don't know God's plan. All we can do is pray for comfort.
I registered for classes (start date, NEXT MONDAY. AHH!) and received my books in the mail. This is really happening. And while going to school to get my degree is a GOOD thing, I'm throwing this one in the not-so-good category for now because let's be real, I'm not looking forward to it.
My anxiety has been on a whole other level lately. It's not something I speak of often. I don't like to feel like a burden to others, or to come across as wanting attention. I am the QUEEN of acting like I'm ok and everything is fine for days, sometimes weeks until I explode. And in my case, 'exploding' means uncontrollably crying alone with what seems like an elephant on my chest for a while and then dusting myself off like nothing happened. Luckily, I seem to have enough control over the situation to make sure I fall apart (for lack of better words) when I'm alone and not in the middle of hands-on mama duties, teaching one of my classes at church, etc.
After discussing these episodes more in detail with my doctor, I was informed that I am actually experiencing panic attacks. I see her biweekly and she has been helping to educate me and help me gain more control over my symptoms. More often than not, I have a drowning feeling all day. I do my best to keep my head above water. I have a lot going on, but refuse to complain because somewhere, someone has it harder. I try to stay mindful of the fact that there are people who would kill for my 'bad days'.
Whew. So that's it. That's basically my life for the past 2 months. It definitely felt good to get it all out. I've missed my creative space. Here's hoping I can find time to break away more often and get a little more blog therapy in. ;)
What's something you find therapeutic?